helpfulordinaryenglish

Should have been a routine night. The pubs now closed. The idiots gone home after either throwing up, dropping their kebabs or kissing someone they wouldn't if sober. As I looked down the street I could see amber lights, neon shop fronts and a fresh glisten of a rain shower. Nothing much to report. Some boy racer was headed up the hill nearby way too quickly with his techno blaring and the straight-piped exhaust waking the dead. RrrrrrrrrrrrrRRRRphiiishht, rrrrrrrrrRRRRRRRphiiiishht. And then it was silence again. I could hear it. I began to walk the length of South street and head in the general direction of the station. And then my attention was taken by two figures in the distance. The unmistakable tall, leaning walk of Cashman and his five-foot sidekick Roberts. Joined at the hip and always up to no good, they were affectionately known as Batman and Robin in the station. They were bottom feeders. Scabs on their knuckles from dragging them along the ground, in debt to dealers, c...

  I WEPT ON THIS DIRTY DAY WHILE THE GERMANS HUNTED THEIR PREY. IN NO-MAN'S LAND WHAT I SEE IS GORE, SO MANY BODIES AND ARMOUR ON THE FLOOR. YOUNG JACK HAS SHELL SHOCK HASN'T SLEPT IN TEN TURNS OF THE CLOCK. BEFORE THE WAR I WORKED IN A BANK. NOW I'M STUCK IN A BIG METAL TANK. BI-PLANES WHIZZING OVER MY HEAD. BOMBS ARE DROPPING, EVERYONE IS DEAD. HEAR THE SOUND OF THE HUGE GATLING GUN MOWING DOWN PEOPLE AS THEY RUN. WE KEPT HAVING TO DUCK SO WE BLEW THEM INTO THE MUCK. BOMBS ARE EXPLODING,GUNS UNLOADING. THE WAR IS NON-STOP,IT GAVE ME SHELL SHOCK. DEAD PEOPLE ALL AROUND, ONE BY ONE THEY HIT THE GROUND.

Want some advice as to what to do and not to do when heading out with your mates? Here are some ideas you should take onboard; First, the basics; Money! Bring it. A lot. Don't be that scrounger that won't buy a round or when its their turn they buy a round of peanuts.  Charge the phone or bring a power bank. Sharing SnapChats until the wee hours is fine but when your battery is dead and you haven't a lift home.... Or you are stuck with someone you need to get away from and you have no battery to text for reinforcements.... Avoid sketchy people. Don't make eye contact with the dodgy lad in the corner. Don't chat with the random dude that is trying to hang out with your gang. Head out on a full stomach. This will help you stay sober and save money. Who wants to pay 500 euro for a burger and chips? Do you want to pay extortionate prices for a kebab? Probably hamster meat anyway... Dress code; Simple. Don't dress like your Dad. No hair gel. No sandals or crocs or we...

 TY [Trannies] survival guide; Want to survive your time in this school? Some call it Shawshank but for a number of years we all have to call it home! Here then are a few ideas from the Transition Year's as to how to get on with it. Stay out of trouble. Sounds easy, right? Not when you have Nutters that vape in toilet cubicles. Like a strawberry-flavoured group therapy session, there can be 5 in there, sharing Covid, saliva and eventually, demerits. Don't be a David! This apparently means 'zesty' but we know that being a David is really just someone that thinks they are too cool, know it all and has the attention span of a gold fish. Have a decent trim at all times! No perms, no big hair, no fringes that need a gardener to fix. Keep it tight and light. And only grow a beard if you are able. Don't fill your bag too much unless you are training to be a coal delivery man in the near future. Don't annoy senior students. They bite, hit like Quarter Backs and are top ...

 Being in first year is hard going sometimes... lots of new rules and people and it can be a big place! But don't worry, here are some easy guidelines for you to follow, courtesy of the present first years; First and foremost, get organised!! Don't be that fella that wanders around looking for his books or class or pencil case all day. And then the principal has to make an announcement over the intercom asking everyone to look out for a black Sporthaus bag or pencil case! Learn where everything is and follow your class! Yes, the school is a big place but you will just have to get used to it! Always be nice to other first years! We don't bully and we need to make everyone welcome. Next; keep a tidy locker. Have everything neat and ready to pick up or drop off throughout the day. And don't leave crumbs in it! You don't want any furry friends jumping out the next time you reach for a book. Speaking of food, don't forget your money for the Ref at lunch break or you ...

Tommy and Cillian are two fantastic second year students with lots of different interests. In English class every Friday they throw loads of ideas at me. This week they want to do a Vlog but we are going to start with a Blog. Tommy wants to make a YouTube video about UNO. However, this weekend he will probably watch a lot of horse racing on the TV and he will do his chores too.  Cillian loves gaming like FortNite and Apex Legends. He will also hang out with his family and spend time outside. Tommy and Cillian stay in touch by phone on WhatsApp over the weekend. They can't wait to finish school every Friday and escape home. Bye!